fundamental differences...
...so there's a guy in my very tiny office (5 people now, as of the fall) who is an ultra-conservative right-wing fundamentalist (and part-time mysogenist). He regularly comes into my little office and starts heated conversations with me about various topics, which I don't understand at all because I hate talking to him and we never agree and we never get along and he's boring... anyway... this happened again yesterday.
Just as he was leaving, he came in and told me he felt really ad about something that happened with his (female) prof at McMaster, at the divinity school where he's studying Greek (NB he was a Baptist pastor for 20 years, having worked as my boss's boss for 20 before that, and the story goes that eventually pastoring "didn't work out" - whatever that might mean - and he landed back here, but obviously has other things on the long-term agenda or something. When asked why he's busting his ass taking all these Greek courses, he just says it's for his own edification, but then he complains bitterly about how much he's sacrificing to take them, so no-one actually believes him for a minute):
So yes, he started by saying he felt bad that he'd upset his prof @ Mac - she assigned an essay topic he didn't want to do, he asked if he could do another, she said no. I said, "don't worry about it. happens to profs all the time, I'm sure." He went on to explain that the TAs for that class didn't show up, and that he was sure they wouldn't have done that for another one of his (male) profs... said he was surprised she didn't know when to be firm and when not to. I said maybe it wasn't her fault, maybe it was bad TAs, and asked why she should let him do another topic when everyone else had to do the assigned one. He complained about how much he was sacrificing to take the course, implying that she should cut him some slack and let him do his own essay topic. Said she was a slight woman and not very assertive. I said I thought if she worked as a prof @ one of the best universities in Canada she's probably okay. He started saying something about how when boys are kids they learn to push back, and I explained that I think women push back too, just differently (decided not to tell him about my childhood, where the boys hated me and I played with a small group of freaky artsy girls every recess). NB at some point early on I actually voiced something about not wanting to talk about this with him, that we both get frustrated, and that we both go away thinking how right we are, in answer to which he accused me of putting words in his head. He got defensive then and said he thought he knew human nature pretty well after having been a pastor for 20 years (I bit my tongue and decided not to ask why he left, then, and that his personality type - ISTJ - could never be a good judge of human nature). At the very end I said something about being sure that men and women were different, and that neither of us had a monopoly on truth, and he said that's all he was saying too, and I said "okay" in a way that made it clear it was not okay and would he please go away, and then he did.
Thing is, I don't understand at all why he chooses to engage me in these "conversations!" I mean seriously, WTF?? man.
Just as he was leaving, he came in and told me he felt really ad about something that happened with his (female) prof at McMaster, at the divinity school where he's studying Greek (NB he was a Baptist pastor for 20 years, having worked as my boss's boss for 20 before that, and the story goes that eventually pastoring "didn't work out" - whatever that might mean - and he landed back here, but obviously has other things on the long-term agenda or something. When asked why he's busting his ass taking all these Greek courses, he just says it's for his own edification, but then he complains bitterly about how much he's sacrificing to take them, so no-one actually believes him for a minute):
So yes, he started by saying he felt bad that he'd upset his prof @ Mac - she assigned an essay topic he didn't want to do, he asked if he could do another, she said no. I said, "don't worry about it. happens to profs all the time, I'm sure." He went on to explain that the TAs for that class didn't show up, and that he was sure they wouldn't have done that for another one of his (male) profs... said he was surprised she didn't know when to be firm and when not to. I said maybe it wasn't her fault, maybe it was bad TAs, and asked why she should let him do another topic when everyone else had to do the assigned one. He complained about how much he was sacrificing to take the course, implying that she should cut him some slack and let him do his own essay topic. Said she was a slight woman and not very assertive. I said I thought if she worked as a prof @ one of the best universities in Canada she's probably okay. He started saying something about how when boys are kids they learn to push back, and I explained that I think women push back too, just differently (decided not to tell him about my childhood, where the boys hated me and I played with a small group of freaky artsy girls every recess). NB at some point early on I actually voiced something about not wanting to talk about this with him, that we both get frustrated, and that we both go away thinking how right we are, in answer to which he accused me of putting words in his head. He got defensive then and said he thought he knew human nature pretty well after having been a pastor for 20 years (I bit my tongue and decided not to ask why he left, then, and that his personality type - ISTJ - could never be a good judge of human nature). At the very end I said something about being sure that men and women were different, and that neither of us had a monopoly on truth, and he said that's all he was saying too, and I said "okay" in a way that made it clear it was not okay and would he please go away, and then he did.
Thing is, I don't understand at all why he chooses to engage me in these "conversations!" I mean seriously, WTF?? man.
posted by BT at 8:12 AM
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