The Corners of my Mind (part I)
In the last couple of weeks I've been more and more aware of odd memories springing up in my head... unpleasant ones, generally...
and I thought maybe I should start writing them down and see what happens. Maybe there will be themes and motifs and patterns. And maybe not.
But so here we go:
1) I remember playing final recital @ Humber, and what a nightmare it was. The night before, at our rehearsal, the drummer said we should do Coltrane's "Grand Central" tune, which I'd never even heard, let alone played, and he wanted to do it at like 200bpm, so in my foolish naivety, that's what we did. and it blew. We also played Alone Together, which I knew I knew backwards, and we started it fast with just drums and me, and I screwed up the form and got lost, and it sucked too. AND there were maybe four people in the entire huge boomy auditorium, plus the 3 adjudicators. Even thinking about that night makes me want to hide under a rock. I have to do good self-talk and remember that it's not happening right now this moment and that actually I'm here at my desk typing. I get totally sucked in to such memories. wild.
...there will be lots of these. They keep popping up seemingly very randomly in my head, and I feel like a bunch of them are things I haven't remembered / thought about for years, and I'm confused as to why they're suddenly surfacing now. And they're all so *vivid*!
SO.
and I thought maybe I should start writing them down and see what happens. Maybe there will be themes and motifs and patterns. And maybe not.
But so here we go:
1) I remember playing final recital @ Humber, and what a nightmare it was. The night before, at our rehearsal, the drummer said we should do Coltrane's "Grand Central" tune, which I'd never even heard, let alone played, and he wanted to do it at like 200bpm, so in my foolish naivety, that's what we did. and it blew. We also played Alone Together, which I knew I knew backwards, and we started it fast with just drums and me, and I screwed up the form and got lost, and it sucked too. AND there were maybe four people in the entire huge boomy auditorium, plus the 3 adjudicators. Even thinking about that night makes me want to hide under a rock. I have to do good self-talk and remember that it's not happening right now this moment and that actually I'm here at my desk typing. I get totally sucked in to such memories. wild.
...there will be lots of these. They keep popping up seemingly very randomly in my head, and I feel like a bunch of them are things I haven't remembered / thought about for years, and I'm confused as to why they're suddenly surfacing now. And they're all so *vivid*!
SO.
posted by BT at 8:46 AM
1 Comments:
hey man I remember that, scary night but that is the real world I guess, it was fun though. I remember I found a recording of that at my parents a few years back and just cringed.
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